Friday, February 27, 2009

Jay Walker

Who has even heard of getting a jay walking ticket these days? Doesn’t it sound like a bit of overkill? Kind of sounds like super trooper on a power trip. Well that was the case for a gentleman who was even saving the lives of fellow citizens. Yes, a good Samaritan saving the lives of those in the community that he didn’t even know.
Police issued a ticket to someone who was injured in the act of saving people’s lives. Jim Moffet and another man helped to push three people out of the way from being hit by a truck driver on a snowy evening in Denver. After pushing the people out of harm’s way, he was injured by the truck causing injury to himself. The man suffered bleeding in the brain as well as broken bones and a few dislocated joints. Not a bad price to pay to save the lives of very grateful citizens, however, more empathy from the police officers should have occurred. However, after all of the damage, he is in serious, but stable conditions and has a promising outlook.
After everything was said and done, Moffet ended up with a jay walking ticket for his great deed. Not exactly the reaction he was probably looking for, and in my opinion, a very ridiculous outcome. Here this man saves some peoples live, he helped clean blood off of the pavement and lives spent. The cops don’t see that though, they just see a way to increase their revenue and match their quotas. No Good Samaritan award was giving to Jim, nope not at all. The only thing that he received was a good old ticket for jay walking. Sounds pretty petty to me. The cops would have had to put more effort into picking up the bodies of the ladies that were hit and cleaning up the bodily fluid covered streets, as well as arrest the men driving the vehicle and figure out what happens. However, Jim saved them from all that and yet he still got a ticket.
Seems kind of trivial that after this man sacrificed his body for the safety of fellow citizens, that the cops would have the nerve to give him a ticket for jay walking. Is that a little outdated of a law anyways, how many cops do you see that ticket for that. Are we in a day and age that quotas held by police stations are that important, that increasing their revenue for the department is so bad that we ticket a man who saves lives for jay walking. Wow, you won’t see me moving there anytime soon. Sir, can you please put your hands behind your back, your under arrest for jay walking, also destruction to government property because you stepped on some grass at the park. What a thing to look forward to.
So next time you’re considering saving a few people’s lives from danger and moving vehicles, remember to cross only at the indicated crosswalks and avoid all steroidal napoleon syndrome cops on patrol cause you may be in violation of jay walking.

Talk about some steamy coffee

Have any of you ever made coffee naked before. Maybe your just too tired to cloth yourself after a nice night of sleeping in your birthday suit. However, did you know that you could get a job doing just that? A man in Main recently opened up a topless café and is having very good luck with this according to a cnn news article.

At the sound of this you may be a little grossed out, but really its not. The owner Donald Crabtree hired a total of fifteen people to be baristas at his café. Out of this fifteen, ten were women and five were men. He stated that he did not only choose perfect ten people, and that his wait staff varied from skinny to bigger boned people. Before hiring his wait staff, Donald saw a large quantity of application, about 150. I didn’t think that the demand for nudist baristas was that big, but in the day of “CHANGE” as Obama puts it, I guess we can be naked and serve coffee.

Donald said that the amount of customers has been successfully overwhelming and it is nice to see the support of the community on something like this. He is already even seeing regular customers who come in frequently for a cup of brew from the nude. Many of the customers are happy with the new establishment, and their most common customers are couples and women. That knocks out the stereotypes for perverted men to get coffee, Ha. Some of the customers are also very generous with their tips, one barista noted receiving a hundred dollar tip, but on average most make 30 bucks a table.

If they can do it in Maine, why not establish one here in the booming town of West Lafayette, Indiana bringing a little excitement into town. Maybe it would increase our demand for some “hot” brew. It wouldn’t even be that hard, we have the customer base many college kids need their caffeine to stay up and study fluid dynamics and hand eye coordination as well as study. Also, many professors like to have a good old cup of brew before that power hour lecture. So why not get it with some flair?

Not only could this provide enjoyment to those coffee seekers, but it could also provide employment opportunities to college students without a job and for those that like to show a little skin. Even the older crowd may like to see some young buff dude serving grandma her latte. This would not only provide positive economic perks, but even emotional ones. Maybe you’re just having a bad day, a recent break up with that sweet heat and you miss the buss. Whatever should you do? Well just grab a cup of coffee from a half naked person and increase your serotonin levels!

So just remember, next time your thinking about coffee or just mulling over a boring day, that if we established a topless coffee shop your day could be more enjoyable. If all else fails though, you can always move to Maine and enjoy a latte served by a topless barista.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Warm weather jetting in!

The weather is warming, or maybe soon to approach. Ah yes, the sweet smell of spring and summer, lingers in the nostrils and tickles the most pleasant of reactions. Does warm weather give you the same reaction? I personally enjoy the warming weather, the feel of warm sun-rays beating down from the aqua blue sky raises the amount of dopamine in body, much like a shot of nitrous in a riced out Honda Civic.

Well, as we all know, spring break is coming up soon. Many have plans for warmer weather, however some have not. Whatever your plan is, fear not. Even warm weather pleasure can be created in the coldest of environments. If your saying no to Florida this year, try a day out with friends to the local tanning beds. If that didn’t even quench your thirst for a warm weather feeling, try day out with the girls, or guys, to the local spa. There you can receive full body massages or maybe even a mud bath to help heal up that deadly winter dryness.

If your saying yes to Florida, then let the rays soak up on you like a sponge filling itself up with bodily enrichment. Maybe a day on the beach with a fruity drink can help relieve your mid semester stressors. Feeling great about yourself and enjoying your time may help to boost your confidence as you sail through the rest of the academic semester while gaining life changing knowledge here at Purdue.

Maybe your thinking post break, what ever will you ever do? Well good old mother has a pretty good schedule. After Spring break the weather is most likely going to warm up hotter than the tires during grand prix week. What this means for a stressed college student is positivity! Thats right, studying outdoors and being with friends in the beloved warmer temperature season can increase your positivity and decrease seasonal depression.

Not only can studying outdoors and enjoying the sunshine raise your enjoyment on campus, there hope for those who have gained the unwanted beer belly. During the warming months, it is an excellent opportunity for all of us to utilize our natural given legs to transport ourselves from location to location. This can result in an increase usage of calories, and toning our sexy legs to reduce our winter blubber.

Therefore, I encourage you, whatever your plans for spring break are to reach out an increase your level of happiness. This can be done in a wide variety of activities pending your location over this period of zero classes. Then upon the return from your absence of academic studies, explore the beautiful campus of Purdue. Whether that is by studying outdoors or just merely using your legs for the pleasure of exercise, have fun! So take that trip to the spa or tanner, and enjoy your beautiful body and relax your mind as we take the first step in our journey to better weather. Or perhaps, jump start it by a trip over spring break.

Addicted to Phone Sex or Identity Theft?

in this day and age, credit cards are over abundant, many college students at least have one or more in their wallet. However, with identity theft rising higher than Michael Phelps after hitting the bong, our security is at risk. Some of these bills even make it back to our beloved parents who are still in the process of supporting us, at least financially. Wouldn’t it be even better if your parents got the bill for 1,000 dollars for hot dirty phone sex hotlines. Well that was the case for Arlene Hald, an 86 year old woman who received a bill in the mail addressed to her dead husband of 20 years.

Yes, thats correct, it must of been a dirty old man, or the victim of identity theft. In an article found off of CNN, it is reported that this poor widow woman received a bill in the mail for 1,000 dollars for a sex hotline in the name of her DEAD husband of 20 years. However, as funny as it would be, he was not a dirty old man addicted to phone sex, his dead name was merely used for identity theft.

Pretty crazy that even in todays high tech world, people can steal your identity even if you are dead! I was a little astonished at reading this article, and that is why I must stress the importance of keeping your identity concealed. The craziest thing about this was that they never even had a credit card, yet his identity was still stolen. Most cases of identity theft occur with credit card holders, however, this wasn’t even the case. This just raises the red flag higher, maybe even with some flashing dee-dee-dee lights on it when it comes to being more protective with our identity.

Therefore, I must stress how important it is to keep your identity concealed. This can be done in many ways, even by simply shredding confidential documents. Most people just throw things away figuring that oh it will just end up in a landfill. However, your security is not guaranteed. All it takes is a crazy old bum to find some papers with your social security number and some bank account numbers and he is happy. He would be applying for a credit card online faster than he would beat a seagull for a piece of bread. Oh thats when the trouble begins, when the important documents come into possession of the wrong hands.

One may ask well how can this be solved. Simply said, it can be taken care of with a few simple steps. Shredding important documents and making sure that confidential papers are either destroyed or properly filed in an inaccessible place can help to alleviate the problem. Merely throwing items with confidential information in the waste basket is not the answer. Take the pro active step to conceal your identity and shred or properly dispose of papers. Down the road it will help greatly, that way people don’t see you as a crazy old person addicted to phone sex, even though it was a crazy person stealing your identity.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Phelps swimin with the mad Po Po Shark

After hearing about the alarming activity on the Michael Phelps marijuana case, I thought it would be something hot to discuss here at The Crucible. Have we seriously lost it? Is it the day an age that sprouts overkill cops that take the badge to the head? I though Terminator was a movie, but I think that the Police have adopted Arnold as their role model. Not to be a basher of law enforcement, as my father is a fireman and we have many police friends :-). However, there comes a time where fat heads need to be deflated.

As the media portrays it, Michael Phelps is the devil now. A smoker of marijuana decreases his ability to be a good person, thus they rub his nose in the dirt. Now lets take a look at this, as an ex University of Michigan student, Michael Phelps as well as many others were located in an area where smoking marijuana or possessing an amount suitable for personal use is only a 5 dollar fine. Also, some see marijuana as a less harmful drug than alcohol. Marijuana is used pretty freely among the campus.

Now not to advocate the usage of illegal substances, but come on. As Ashton Kutcher said when standing up for Michael Phelps said, “Ask you 20 year old son or daughter what they were doing last weekend.” Should we crack down as hard as the police did on Phelps for every user of marijuana. Our jail cells would be packed fatter than the joints that they smoked.

Upon gathering information and data relevant to building a case against Michael Phelps, Sheriff deputies from Richland County, SC burst into the 3 homes including the one Mr. Phelps was photographed smoking marijuana. Not only did they burst in unannounced, but with guns drawn like a shootout during high noon with the O K coral. Led by Billy the Kid Leon Lott, sheriff of Richland County, seized everything from computers to cameras in the homes. Maybe a drawer full of man thongs, along with a few rectal exams just in case too!

All in an effort to build a case against the swimmer Michael Phelps, Leon Lott expresses no remorse. However many see this as the most ridiculous use of resources. Shouldn't the police be out solving some real crime. As comedian Kat Williams has said, “weed is not a drug its simply a plant that some people just happen to light on fire. A drug is chemicals and shit.” I am sure that we can find a few more crimes in South Caroline that their finest can be allocating their resources to in order to achieve a more beneficial uphold of the law.

You may not watch the olympics, or even care who Michael Phelps is, but the truth is, watch out. The fatheaded finest (unlike the real police who do their job and keep us safe! The ones I am thankful for.) are on the lookout. Even the smallest sent of good ole mary j will throw them into a frenzy worse than drama filled high school girls “smackin bitches”.

Ahh the Good Ole Smell of Fiscal Irresponsibility

Welcome back readers after a weeks break. Somethings came up last week not allowing me to write more on The Crucible, so I apologize.

Back to business however, and boy is the good ole DC cooking up something for us. Now its kinda like crazy grandma’s cooking, never know how its gonna be until we get a taste of it.

With a recent passing in the House of Representatives, Democrats passed the recovery package without a single republican house vote. Imagine the House during this vote, Republicans and Democrats split like the red sea as Mr. Obama slams the staff of economic recovery into the house. So much for his idea of bringing the two sides together and uniting the bi-partisanship into one. Some democrats even sided with the republicans on this one.

So what is this whole thing about anyway? Well, the stimulus plan that is trying to be put into effect by the great orator Mr. Obama, totals up to a record breaking amount of 787 billion dollar stimulus package. Like lightening sent down from Zeus in the heavens, this stimulus plan is aimed to zap the US economy on the right track. Thus, easing the grip on consumer’s wallets to stimulate spending and investing.

However, phat cash in our pockets isn’t the only target in the sights of this bill. Mr. Obama is reaching out to all big and small. It is a combination of government spending as well as tax cuts for both personal and business conditions. According to the Wall Street Journal, this stimulus effort is estimated to preserve 3.5 million jobs as well as give incentives for automotive purchases as well as first time home purchases. It would also give retirees a one time 250 dollar payout.

However, is all of this spending fiscally responsible? Many republicans stand behind their no vote due to the fact that they deem this irresponsible. Desperate times do call for desperate measures, however, does this action seem to be the correct choice in your opinion. Should we be shoveling enormous amounts of money into the economy faster than engineers shoveling coal into the boilers of the Titanic? Especially money that we do not have.

As our country is in a massive amount of debt, does the higher authority of this great country seem to be making the correct decision? Maybe their vision is blinded, seeing as its not their generation that will be effected by this creation of record breaking debt. Since the debt is held externally by foreigners through loans and such, it will have to be paid back with interest. Does having no plan to pay this back sound woeful to you?

You may say it doesn’t relate to you, however, my friend you are going to be paying it back. Along with your kids, our generation will be responsible for the repayment of fiscal irresponsibility. Is it our duty to be placed with a burden so heavy its paralleled to the punishment of the Greek god Atlas holding the sky on his shoulders.